Every story has a point of view

Just a quick post tonight. My folks will be at our home soon, so I can only publish this writing prompt from The Foundations of Fiction by Jessica Brody and Joanne Rendell. The lesson tonight was on the different points of view that authors use to tell their stories. I went into it thinking that I was a third person omniscient writer. I like being able to see inside character's heads. But as they went through the topic I realized I was writing Mack Hawthorne's experiences in third person limited.

I actually did start writing with a more omniscient style, but it felt a bit confusing to read and I worried about readers getting lost in it. I refocused my writing so that we can see Mack's thoughts and feelings, but we can only tell other characters' feelings through their actions and body language. It felt more comfortable to me and hopefully for others to read.

With that, here was the lesson's writing prompt. We see the thoughts of Eloise as she goes to tell Veronica how she died.

Two characters, one point of view

Eloise slowly materialized after the house had gone dark. She never liked coming out in brightly lit rooms or places. It felt uncomfortable and like she was out of place. She had decided many years ago that darkness was a much better time for a ghost to be out. The world was so strange now when compared to when she lived. Tonight, she was here for a purpose, though. Tonight, she would tell Veronica, the teenage girl who lived in her house, how she had died. She felt nervous about telling her, which seemed odd to her since she was already dead.

Eloise glided down the hallway and entered the room through the closed door. “Veronica?” she asked carefully.

Veronica sat on the bed and looked up with a startled expression on her face. Then she relaxed as her face took on a look of recognition. Eloise was very happy to have found someone who didn’t freak out at seeing her.

“Eloise,” Veronica said, “I didn’t expect to see you tonight.”

Eloise hesitated and said, “I’ve been thinking about what you asked last time. I’ve decided I’d tell you after all.”

Veronica’s face brightened. “Really? You were so upset that I didn’t think you would.”

Veronica thought for a moment, then said, “But if it’s too uncomfortable, you don’t have to. I don’t want to feel like you don’t have a choice. I’ll drop it if you wish.”