Learning about PTSD is rough

I’ve been thinking about how to authentically portray Mack’s struggles with coming home. I don’t want to don’t want to write him in a way that gives a false idea of what people with PTSD go through. I needed to do a household chore tonight, so I searched through YouTube for videos of soldiers talking about their experiences and struggles. The video I found was PTSD: The Walking Wounded - Mental Health After the Military.

The documentary has three veterans and the sister of a veteran talking about the mental health battle that occurs for many veterans who return from combat. One of the veterans is a therapist who works with veterans who struggle with PTSD. The sister of the veteran is sharing her brother’s story, as he died of an overdose of prescribed medication. The two other veterans are telling their own stories. It’s a good documentary, but it’s difficult to watch. There’s something about listening to the two people tell you about their near deaths by suicide, a sister sharing her loss, and a therapist describing a patient he lost. It’s hard.

Shannon called me tonight just after I had finished watching it and immediately picked up on my mood. After we said our hellos the first thing she said was “Are you all right?” So we spent some time talking about what I had watched.

I have a lot of thoughts and I’m feeling a bit emotional right now. It was impossible for me not to be affected by what I watched. Those emotions are increased because my son is a soldier. My thoughts are mostly running along the lines of, ”what do I do now?” I have some ideas, but nothing that I’m willing to share right now. I will say that I need to be more aware of the people around me. PTSD isn’t limited to soldiers. We all carry scars of some sort from life. I have to be better at caring for those I know and come in contact with.

Some of the worst battles we have go on inside of us. Too often they are fought alone.